The Penguin Strikes Again

 Co-worker Joe: ok fucking this morning I come in and say hi to penguin and he goes “morning sunshine”

Co-worker Joe: and then I just tell him I crashed notepad

Co-worker Joe: and he says “thats hot”

Co-worker Joe: what the fuck is that

Murder: uhhhh

Murder: what?

Murder: SQUAWK SQUAWK, PENGUIN!!

JCo-worker Joe: seriously follow the fish heads to the gay strip club and accept it already

Murder: HAHAHAHAH

I’m Way Into Whaling Now II

Murder: my schooner has spinnerz

xhibit put them on there

i was on Pimp My Schooner

Kevin: does your schooner have hydraulics

Murder: yes it does

Kevin: or doez dat scare da fishez

Murder: it aint da fishez i iz aftah!

Kevin: whut you tink da whalez eat, dummy?

Sent at 11:44 AM on Tuesday

Murder: krillz, son!

16 harpoons in the clip and one in the hole

The Penguin

There is a new-ish dude at my office. He does design and web development stuff. His name is The Penguin.

His hair sticks up because of a lot of gel. And, he is tall, but also sorta portly. He spends a lot of time standing in front of the printer while it makes noises.

He is The Penguin.

Times are Tough All Over — Meet Winnie Cooper

Winnie Cooper: you know how when you take a shit at the office, and your dick touches the inside of the toilet seat

Murder: hahahahahahahaha

yeeesssss…

Winnie Cooper: yeah. tough times.

Murder: that’s it?

Winnie Cooper: yeah.

Murder: yeah that sucks man

Winnie Cooper: thats practically having gay sex

Murder: its way too god damn close to it, ill give you that

Winnie Cooper: ima wear a rubber next time

I’m Pretty Sure Spiderman Works in My Office

So there is a new guy in my office. He is our new designer. Today was his second day. He came in at 9:45. And then he left at 12:30 for lunch. Now it’s 3:08, and he’s still not back.

He is obviously Spiderman.

Speaks for Itself