Murder Lives Here

Entries categorized as ‘Payday’

Just Sort of Weird In General

September 19, 2007 · 1 Comment

So I guess the other day some chick found the conversations between Cheese and Trey Anastasio, because she took it upon herself to start writing instant messages to him, which he, of course, concurrently sent to me.

idreamin45mm: your s/n is plastered all over the internet.

just thought you’d like to know, if you don’t already.

jumpboy5: Really, I didn’t realize that many people read murder lives here

jumpboy5: so are you a totally random person

idreamin45mm: Haha, I suppose. I’m Ashley.

idreamin45mm:  I saw some convo with your s/n pasted on it, and thought you should know. Haha.

jumpboy5: wow

Yeah, “Wow” is right. But Cheese managed to turn the whole thing funny, because that’s what he does.

idreamin45mm: So how did you react when you found out your friend tricked you?

jumpboy5: Well

jumpboy5: wait what?

idreamin45mm: the Trey imposter.

jumpboy5: What do you mean imposter?

idreamin45mm: ….

jumpboy5: I mean, I know he posted it on his blog, I sent it to him

idreamin45mm: The kid who IMed you as Trey from Phish…

jumpboy5: I’m pretty sure Trey IMed me…

idreamin45mm: The blog said it wasn’t really Trey, it was the writer of the blog.

jumpboy5: No way, I’m sure he was being sarcastc

idreamin45mm: “I created a fake AIM screen name and contacted my friend Cheese pretending to be his hero. However, it is obviously only me.”

jumpboy5: NONONooh man

jumpboy5: no

idreamin45mm: that’s what it says on the blogger.

idreamin45mm: that’s where I found your s/n.

jumpboy5: It was either trey or Mike pretending to be Trey

idreamin45mm: but that is the first few lines of the blog.

jumpboy5: Yeah, I mean..I obviously saw that, I just thought he was joking I mean

12:45 AM

jumpboy5: That had to be Trey, right

idreamin45mm: ……I doubt it.

jumpboy5: But that was like the, that was the best part of my year

idreamin45mm: Phish is a pretty well known group…and most people, especially semi-famous ones, don’t create screen names using their real names.

jumpboy5: What?!

idreamin45mm: Please tell me you’re kidding and I didn’t just ruin your whole life…

jumpboy5: Listen, I’ve been to like 19 shows, including 04/04/98 and 02/28/03

and I’m pretty sure they know me by now

at least by sight

jumpboy5: which is probably how Trey found me on facebook

idreamin45mm: …..Wow.

idreamin45mm: Do you think he would search for you though?

jumpboy5: Uhm

jumpboy5: yes

idreamin45mm: That’s cool if he did, but your friend outright said he tricked you.

jumpboy5: Ashley, I dont think you understand

I started the wave at Albany and Nassau

idreamin45mm: http://murderliveshere.wordpress.com/category/doppelgangers/

idreamin45mm: I’m not trying to ruin your day by any means.

jumpboy5: I’m pretty sure Trey, and Mike and Fish and Definitely Page know who I am

idreamin45mm: Or…maybe it was your friend who posted the blog?

jumpboy5: Oh MAN!!

jumpboy5: OH MAN!

jumpboy5: AAGH

idreamin45mm: SHHH. calm down.

jumpboy5: okokok

jumpboy5: sorry…Sorry

jumpboy5: ITs just…you know, I thought that He was going to go out and just like, Maybe bring Page. And Page and I would both order sandwiches…

jumpboy5: you know?

jumpboy5: I thought that that was within the realm of possibility…

idreamin45mm: Are you serious? I’m having a hard time following this.

jumpboy5: I’m sorry I’m kind of emotional right now

idreamin45mm: Are you really convinced that this was your idol? I mean…I could be wrong.

jumpboy5: I was just trying to say that based on our casual dialogues, that we would eventually befriend each other, have lunch, and eventually he might bring Page.

jumpboy5: I mean, I thought it was Trey

idreamin45mm: maybe it is really trey

idreamin45mm: maybe i’m just assuming it isn’t without the facts?

jumpboy5: I never really…I didn’t think that Murf would do something like that, but now that you’re spelling it out for me..I mean..

jumpboy5: ohh

jumpboy5: man

jumpboy5: so like, how old are you

Categories: "These Internets are Kewl Mistresses" · Cheese · Payday · Trey

The Great eBay War of Aught Seven Opens

August 16, 2007 · 3 Comments

LET IT BE KNOWN THAT IN THE SPIRIT OF AWESOME COMPETITION, KEVIN AND I WILL NOW DO BATTLE IN THE WILD JUNGLES OF EBAY FOR THIS AUTOGRAPHED NELSON MANDELA PORTRAIT.

MAN: THE MOST DANGEROUS QUARRY OF THEM ALL!

 Actually, the original bounty was supposed to be this set of Perfect Strangers collectible buttons and pencil with a sheep on the end of it, but Kevin decided that since it ended in like a day, there wasn’t enough time for sufficient visceral, edge of your seat bidding action. Too bad I had already entered my first bid of $5.15.

Fuck. Without the competition involved, I want absolutely nothing to do with these buttons.

FOLLOW ALL THE EXCLUSIVE NICKEL-INCREMENT BIDDING ACTION HERE!

Categories: Competition · Kevin · Oh Mah Gawd · Payday · eBay War 2007

KMase Tells Jokes

August 13, 2007 · 5 Comments

Murder: seriously, we’re getting you on tour

KMase: on the clown tour?

did i just get into clown college???

with a SCHOLARSHIP???!!!

Murder: YOU JUST GOT A FULL RIDE

THEY’RE WAVING THE TUITION FEE

KMase: LIKE A FLAG???

Murder: OH MY GOD YOU JUST GRADUATED!!!!!!

Categories: Jokes · KMase · Payday · Welcome to Awesome Town

Agent to the Stars–Meet Brown

June 18, 2007 · 1 Comment

So today I was minding my own business when the following correspondence with my friend Brown happened. Brown IS the internet, and currently is helping these guys get a site called FameGame.com off the ground.

Brown: hey, can you do me a favor?

Murder: yeah whats up

Brown: i need to make an invoice for famegame (so i can pay rent)

Murder: nice

Brown: will you make it?

Murder: Dude that is like the easiest thing ever to do

Brown: Negotiated weekly rate: $462.60
Other expenses: $50 (craigslist posting)
Total: $512.60

Murder: ok dude

I would obviously be an amazing agent, because this is what Brown sent to his bosses.

FameGame (also Lame!) Invoice 

I love tracking celebs! This job roolz! But Gawd, do I do like everything around here or what!  Here’s mah weekly rate: $462.60 (what is the 60 cents for, like so I can buy some gum or something? Can’t I expense gum? Whatevah.)  Then I made the Craigslist posting for an intern, because you guys don’t have little sisters you can use. Remembah? (Cuz it was like last week, so you should probably remembah.) That was like $50 or something. 

Whoah! Plug those two numbahs into the supah computah and OH MAH GAWD! THAT’S $512.60! THAT WILL KEEP ME ALIVE FOR LIKE ANOTHER 4 HOURS! AND ALSO LET ME BUY SOME GUM!  When does this site start hosting pictures of boobiez? 

Yours in Nooz, 

“DYIN’” BROWN

Lucky for him, my retainer is only one vodka tonic. He better watch out I don’t get any more clients though , because it could very easily become two vodka tonics.

Categories: Agents · Brown · Contracted Labor · Payday