Murder LOVES Here

Yesterday I bought ice cream and it tasted nice! Also I didn’t go anywhere near a toilet let alone have any gross stuff happen concerning one!

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OMG YOU UPLOADED PICS???? OMG!

OMG YOU REMOVED BOWLING FROM YOUR INTERESTS??? WHY DO YOU NOT BOWL ANYMORE OR SOMETHING??? OMG OMG! THAT SUCKS CAUSE YOU WERE WICKED GOOD!!!!!1

OMG YOU ADDED THE “AM I HOT OR NOT” APPLICATION, AND THEN REMOVED THE “AM I HOT OR NOT” APPLICATION, AND THEN ADDED THE “AM I HOT OR NOT” APPLICATION AGAIN??? SO ARE YOU GONNA REMOVE IT AGAIN OR WHATS THE STORY??

OMG YOUR ARE LIVE BLOGGING YOUR SUICIDE??? ROFL!

The Great eBay War of Aught Seven Opens

LET IT BE KNOWN THAT IN THE SPIRIT OF AWESOME COMPETITION, KEVIN AND I WILL NOW DO BATTLE IN THE WILD JUNGLES OF EBAY FOR THIS AUTOGRAPHED NELSON MANDELA PORTRAIT.

MAN: THE MOST DANGEROUS QUARRY OF THEM ALL!

 Actually, the original bounty was supposed to be this set of Perfect Strangers collectible buttons and pencil with a sheep on the end of it, but Kevin decided that since it ended in like a day, there wasn’t enough time for sufficient visceral, edge of your seat bidding action. Too bad I had already entered my first bid of $5.15.

Fuck. Without the competition involved, I want absolutely nothing to do with these buttons.

FOLLOW ALL THE EXCLUSIVE NICKEL-INCREMENT BIDDING ACTION HERE!

Uh Oh

So on Wednesday, I am flying to Martha’s Vineyard. I have a flight on JetBlue back to the Bean, and then from there, I’m flying for the first time on Cape Air, which travels only to Cape Cod and the Islands. It seemed convenient. So I booked without thinking about it.

Then today, in anticipation of my trip, I decided to see just what kind of airline Cape Air was. And I found this:

I’m sorry, but it looks to me like for that thing to take off, someone has to throw it. And then if you’re lucky, it gets about five seconds in the air before it crashes into the wall of your bedroom.

The motto of Cape Air is “We’re your Wings”, which I guess is fitting, because I’d probably do just as good if I taped cardboard wings to myself and jumped off a building. Seriously, if you hear on the news about some kid getting sucked into the jet turbine of a 747 because he was running down the tarmac at Logan Airport as fast as he could flapping his arms, you’ll know that it was me, and that it happened out of fear.

Also, here is another picture of a Cape Air plane in flight, presumably on its way to a gay pirate’s convention or something.