Murder Lives Here

Entries categorized as ‘Agents’

Agent to the Interns of Stars

July 6, 2007 · Leave a Comment

This is for the FameGame people’s new intern, who I don’t even know. This is getting out of hand/depressing/a little weird.

Categories: Agents · Brown · Contracted Labor · Getting Hammered · Interns · Reasons to Kill Yourself

Agent to the Stars II

June 25, 2007 · Leave a Comment

Clearly a career is developing here.

Invoice 4 FAMELAMEGAME

Mah esteemed klient regwets to infohm u that you owe him sum monay, to the toon of $462.60.

We ah beginning to feel that this 60 cents extwa evwy week is nothing moah than an insult. Derefore, keep your 60 cents, and spend it on diapahs, babies.

I ROOLZ.

-NaRniO’s PeePz

P.S. for payment, we except eitha cash or links to LOLcatz sites.

 

That voice is starting to make me want to kill myself.

Categories: Agents · Brown · Contracted Labor · LolCatz · New Jobs · Reasons to Kill Yourself

Agent to the Stars–Meet Brown

June 18, 2007 · 1 Comment

So today I was minding my own business when the following correspondence with my friend Brown happened. Brown IS the internet, and currently is helping these guys get a site called FameGame.com off the ground.

Brown: hey, can you do me a favor?

Murder: yeah whats up

Brown: i need to make an invoice for famegame (so i can pay rent)

Murder: nice

Brown: will you make it?

Murder: Dude that is like the easiest thing ever to do

Brown: Negotiated weekly rate: $462.60
Other expenses: $50 (craigslist posting)
Total: $512.60

Murder: ok dude

I would obviously be an amazing agent, because this is what Brown sent to his bosses.

FameGame (also Lame!) Invoice 

I love tracking celebs! This job roolz! But Gawd, do I do like everything around here or what!  Here’s mah weekly rate: $462.60 (what is the 60 cents for, like so I can buy some gum or something? Can’t I expense gum? Whatevah.)  Then I made the Craigslist posting for an intern, because you guys don’t have little sisters you can use. Remembah? (Cuz it was like last week, so you should probably remembah.) That was like $50 or something. 

Whoah! Plug those two numbahs into the supah computah and OH MAH GAWD! THAT’S $512.60! THAT WILL KEEP ME ALIVE FOR LIKE ANOTHER 4 HOURS! AND ALSO LET ME BUY SOME GUM!  When does this site start hosting pictures of boobiez? 

Yours in Nooz, 

“DYIN’” BROWN

Lucky for him, my retainer is only one vodka tonic. He better watch out I don’t get any more clients though , because it could very easily become two vodka tonics.

Categories: Agents · Brown · Contracted Labor · Payday