Trey Apparently Still Lives Here

TreyAnstsio (1:38:44 PM): cheese?

Jumpboy5 (1:39:24 PM): TREY!

TreyAnstsio (1:38:56 PM): hello cheese!

TreyAnstsio (1:39:02 PM): long time no talk

TreyAnstsio (1:39:04 PM): TALK

TreyAnstsio (1:39:06 PM): LIKE MY SONG

Jumpboy5 (1:39:49 PM): hah, yeah

TreyAnstsio (1:39:23 PM): so ehh, i mean, what’s been up?

Jumpboy5 (1:40:20 PM): actually, I’m listening to Billy Breathes

Jumpboy5 (1:40:54 PM): I heard about Owen Wilson’s attempted suicide and got kinda sad, and when i go to my sad place I listen to BB.

TreyAnstsio (1:40:26 PM): great, great

Jumpboy5 (1:41:06 PM): Hey Trey.

Jumpboy5 (1:41:11 PM): Can I ask you a question

TreyAnstsio (1:40:41 PM): of course you can cheese

TreyAnstsio (1:40:50 PM): what do you want to know?

Jumpboy5 (1:41:56 PM): Why cant I just replace Page? Everyone knows he’s the one keeping phish apart.

Jumpboy5 (1:42:17 PM): I can do it, just give me one chance

TreyAnstsio (1:41:55 PM): hmm. well, i don’t doubt your talents cheese

Jumpboy5 (1:42:36 PM): okok

TreyAnstsio (1:42:01 PM): but let me answer your question with a story:

Jumpboy5 (1:42:47 PM): ugh…ok

Jumpboy5 (1:42:57 PM): as long as it isnt the story of the gost

Jumpboy5 (1:43:03 PM): is it the story of the ghost?

TreyAnstsio (1:42:17PM): no it is not the story of the ghost 

TreyAnstsio (1:42:29 PM): do you remember when i started that band called Oysterhead after phish broke up the first time?

Jumpboy5 (1:43:13 PM): yeah

TreyAnstsio (1:42:50 PM): and do you remember how i had a huge awesome antler attached to my guitar?

Jumpboy5 (1:43:37 PM): yeah

TreyAnstsio (1:43:32 PM): and do you remember how when i moved my hand away from the antler and then closer to it, it went “waaah wuh wuh wah!  wuh wahh wahh…wuh wuh! wah wawawawa waaaaaaaahh”?

Jumpboy5 (1:44:29 PM): I DO!

TreyAnstsio (1:43:57 PM): yeah!

TreyAnstsio (1:44:01 PM): so

TreyAnstsio (1:44:09 PM): um

TreyAnstsio (1:44:13 PM): how sweet was that right?

Jumpboy5 (1:45:05 PM): so you dont even need Page when you have the spirit antlers?

TreyAnstsio (1:44:31 PM): oh right, page

Jumpboy5 (1:45:12 PM): is that it?

TreyAnstsio (1:44:39 PM): no page is just sort of a squirrely little bitch

Jumpboy5 (1:45:22 PM): oh

Puke Bet Update #6–3:11 PM

THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR MURDER.

AnimalStyle: I just ate. I feel worse. Oh God.

But the day is diminishing. I think this may just be aftershocks of this morning. In all practicality, I think it’s safe to say that AnimalStyle made it.

Puke Bet Update #5–2:12 PM

1:40, my projected boot time, has come and gone.

HOWEVER, my earlier definition of the bet was wrong. Kevin reminded me that the winner is identified as the person who predicts the closest point of vomitage without going over. So if AnimalStyle still tosses cookies before 5 pm, I can still win. But things are not looking good.

Murder: ARE YOU OK?

AnimalStyle: im great. im able to swallow whole pieces of food.

Kevin has gone home due to summer hours, even though he stayed 30 minutes after he had to just to monitor the action. But nothing as of yet seems to phase this girl.

Somehow, AnimalStyle has managed to overcome that which would kill any normal person. She came into this morning like Hurricane Katrina with a .18 blood alcohol level. But now she’s resolving into a tepid squall that is quickly moving offshore. She might even be working right now.

What she’s doing, isn’t human. She herself, isn’t human. She is AnimalStyle.

Puke Bet Update #4–1:08

The last twenty or so minutes were a firestorm of anxiety and suspense. AnimalStyle spent upwards of ten minutes in a prolonged “BRB” state, most of which was spent in the bathroom.

Tension is mounting over here. Kevin’s bid has expired, and if AnimalStyle doesn’t lose it in the next 30 minutes, I’ve gone down too. If that happens, we’re going to re-bid on whether or not she’s going to do it in the remaining 3 hours of the working day.

This is blowing minds. At this point she should be dragging herself across the floor with her fingernails and crying. That she has lasted this long is nothing short of Olympian.

Here is the latest quote from this emerging phenomenon as reported by our man Kevin, out there on the front lines of this thing: “I really am on the verge man. But I can’t.”

It seems psychology is now coming into play, which will only make this more drawn out and painful to the soul as time wears on.

FALSE ALARM!

IT DIDN’T HAPPEN! 

Kevin: is it really over?

AnimalStyle: nope

i gagged

Kevin: damn it!

The heat is still on!

BREAKING NEWS!

AnimalStyle: i’m not doing well over here

i think i really may puke right now

brb

THIS COULD BE IT! SHE HAS BEEN GONE FIVE MINUTES.

Puke Bet Update #3–11:51 AM

When asked what she was drinking last night, AnimalStyle replied only: “Your Mom”.

Word is that now AnimalStyle may or may not be eating Cheez-Its, which is not a good sign for Kevin, but may be for me. The Cheez-Its may provide sustenance that will get her through the next hour, but we have to remember she is still delirious from drinking until roughly 6 am. At some point, the novelty will wear off, and she will hit the brick wall and begin to slide down it. At that point the Cheez-Its could turn on her.

Given the use of stimulants, the only real cure for a night like AnimalStyle’s is sleep, and that is exactly what she is not getting. Cheez-Its are a shoddy band-aid at best. Don’t start cashing out yet.

Puke Bet Update #2–11:16 AM

AnimalStyle is still alive after all.

Kevin: have you eaten yet?

AnimalStyle: I want to die

I had 4 chips

but I feel sick

The over/under on this is shot all to hell. Generally eating food can go one of two ways. It can either sustain you or it can just give you something to throw up. The fact that AnimalStyle tried to eat and had to stop is encouraging. But that she got through 4 chips before doing so is an ambiguous sign. Vegas currently favors a pre-1 PM hurling, but the high rollers are chomping at the bit to see what’s happened once noon hits, when by all accounts, the action is going to get hot. 

STAY TUNED.

Puke Bet Update #1–10:34 AM

AnimalStyle is not responding to instant messages. This could be over before it begins.

The Great Hung Over Puke Bet of 2007

IN THE STILL THRIVING SPIRIT OF AWESOME COMPETITION, KEVIN AND I WILL NOW DO BATTLE OVER WHEN ANIMALSTYLE PUKES AT WORK.

This morning, Kevin had an idea. An idea based off of this conversation:

AnimalStyle: I am so fucked up right now

Kevin: What are you on dude? Meth?

AnimalStyle: Coke and alcohol. This is bad.

I had to come in today.

Kevin: Dude what the fuck.

Did you sleep?

AnimalStyle: I just rolled out of bed and took a cab here.

I slept like an hour.

Kevin: Dude get it together.

you’re acting like lohan.

SO NOW SINCE SHE IS OBVIOUSLY GOING TO PUKE AND MAYBE DIE, THE ONLY HUMANE THING TO DO IS TAKE BETS ON WHEN THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I SAID 1:40 PM, AS LUNCH WILL HAVE A CALMING EFFECT INITIALLY, AND THEN THE STASIS OF THE AFTERNOON WILL BE TOO MUCH TO HANDLE. KEVIN HAS LITTLE FAITH SHE WILL MAKE IT THAT FAR, AND CHOSE 12:30.

AND FOR THE RECORD, ANYTHING CONCERNING AWESOME COMPETITION WILL HERETOFORE APPEAR IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.

WHOEVER COMES CLOSEST WITHOUT GOING OVER WINS! WATCH FOR UPDATES! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!